As arch-rivals Pakistan and India gear up for the semi-final clash, die-hard Pakistan cricket fans are having a hard time getting tickets to watch the match at the stadium in Mohali.

According to the organisers at the Punjab Cricket Association (PCA) Stadium, Mohali, where the match is scheduled for March 30, tickets were sold out soon after it became apparent that India might play Pakistan in the semi-final. The stadium can hold 28,000 people of which, PCA officials said, 16,500 tickets were sold in record time. The rest, they said, had been bought by the International Cricket Council (ICC) for its guests and officials.

“I am deeply disappointed because I will not be able to catch the action live,” said shop-owner Rizwan Abbasi. “I ran from pillar to post to get tickets and even contacted the Indian High Commission but to no avail.”

“We are as deserving as any Indian fan because we could have hosted the game had the ICC not removed us from the [host] list,” said Asad Muslim, a cellular company executive. “There is a bias towards us and our authorities should raise their voice against it.”

“We wanted to go support our team which is our right but I am utterly dejected with the way the organisers have deprived us of it,” said Shahid Rao, another desperate fan.

Helpless PCB

While fans have tried and failed, the Pakistan Cricket Board (PCB) is also having trouble getting tickets for dignitaries.

“We wanted to buy tickets for top dignitaries but no tickets are available,” PCB spokesperson Nadeem Sarwar said. “We are trying to arrange some but haven’t received a convincing reply from the organisers yet.”

ICC shifts blame

When Pakistan was removed as co-host of World Cup 2011, the ICC had said that it would facilitate Pakistan fans attend matches in the country’s South Asian neighbours.

But now, the ICC has refused to take the blame for unavailability of tickets.

“Tickets had been open for sale online for a considerable length of time,” ICC’s Head of Media and Communications Colin Gibson said. “Fans from other countries took their chances on the possibility of their teams’ matches and bought tickets in advance. The same should have been done by Pakistan fans,” he said.

Indian fans

The situation isn’t any easier for Indian fans it seems, as hundreds of people were seen queuing at the ground on Saturday despite PCA’s announcement on Tuesday that the 14,000 available tickets had been sold.

But some supporters simply refused to believe tickets were no longer available. “I have been coming here since Monday, but have not been able to get a ticket,” Vikas Sharma, a businessman, told the Press Trust of India.

However, there have been numerous reports of a thriving black market in tickets for the showpiece encounter with prices rocketing 10-fold.

“The tickets for 250 rupees are available at 2,200 rupees while a 1,000-rupee ticket can only be bought for 8,000 rupees,” said Mohali student Sahil Kapoor.

Everyone is talking about arch-rivals Pakistan and India facing each other in a World Cup semi-final on Wednesday.

Here are a few golden statements that Pakistan cricket fans are making:

1. Pakistan was given a place in the semi-final as a reward for releasing Raymond Davis.

2. Reaching Mohali a week before the match is no good; the Pakistani players may get paid off.

Thackerey is an Indian politician, founder and chief of the Shiv Sena.

3. Indians are good at black magic – check out how their pundits throw amulets on the Mohali pitch.

4. The Mohali pitch has been developed to assist the Indian players.

5. Pakistanis will lose the match because they know the Indian crowd will beat the hell out of them if they win.

6. The Indian spectators will disrupt the match if they see Pakistan winning the game.

7. Pakistan will not lose the semi final; 180 million Pakistani Muslims, Bengalis and lots of Indian Muslims will be praying for Pakistan.

8. RAW agents are conspiring to use Indian bookies to bring down the Pakistan team.

9. Bal Thakeray won’t do anything to the Pakistan team. He is afraid of Karachi’s ghundas.

10. Pakistan will win the match because they don’t have sattay baaz (gamblers) on the squad.

11. How can Pakistan win when there is no implementation of Islam in this country?

12. Shoaib Akhtar will rip Kamran Akmal apart on the field if he drops any more catches when he is bowling.

13. Bal Thakeray is actually an ISI double-agent. His job is to malign India’s reputation by threatening the Pakistan cricket team.

Note: This blog is satirical in nature.

For the latest World Cup updates and opinions visit BestWoods Cricket.

Pakistan and India have never had smooth diplomatic ties and are obviously insecure about each other; their rivalry is so intense that it has brought them to the brink of nuclear armament.

So what can a game of cricket do for two countries that are not friends? Not much.


The Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh has invited President Asif Ali Zardari and Prime Minister Yousaf Raza Gilani to watch the Pakistan versus India showdown on March 30in Mohali, India.

The arch-rivals have not played each other in India since the 26/11 attacks in Mumbai and the outcome will surely be construed as a diplomatic victory.

The frustrations that both sides have developed towards each other ever since they separated in 1947 are often vented through cricket matches.  It’s not just a game. The untimely death of a match-predicting parrot who predicted Pakistan’s victory is just a recent example of what a Pakistan India clash means.

This match will help India generate cash by selling tickets, issue around 5,000 visas to Pakistanis and create economic activity for hotels but apart from this, I don’t think it can help diplomatic ties. I highly doubt that Mr Singh and Mr Gilani will discuss human rights violations in Kashmir on the pitch.

Security concerns for Pakistani cricketers and visiting fans remain very real ahead of the match on Wednesday. The fact that cricket fans on both sides celebrate each other’s defeat with no less happiness than they cheer their triumphs gives an impression that another Pakistan India war will take place in Mohali on the 30th.

I wonder what it was that led Shahid Afridi to fantasise about Pak-India relations improving as a result of this match.  Both countries would have to play cricket almost every day before they can sit down and tackle issues crucial to the security and survival of their people.

Overview of Bob Greene's Best Life Diet

According to Bob Greene, the key to weight loss success is a strong emotional base. Honesty, responsibility, commitment, and inner strength are, he says, the four cornerstones of emotional foundation. Honesty means being honest about past weaknesses and past failures for present and future success to occur. Responsibility means taking responsibility for your past actions, vowing to change, and owning up to past failures. Commitment, the third cornerstone, means really keeping to commitments; and inner strength means having the strength to make healthy choices and sticking to them.


The Best Life Diet encourages the individual to make gradual changes and depending on your current fitness level and gender, the diet, which progresses through three phases, encourages calorie intakes ranging from 1,500-2,500 per day, along with exercise.
What you can eat on the Best Life Diet?


While there is a calorie range for this diet, individuals do not necessarily have to calorie count, but rather pay attention to portion sizes. The list of foods allowed on this diet is vast and varied and include fresh fruits and vegetables, breads and cereals, lean meats and protein, oils such as olive oil, low fat to nonfat dairy products, and most spices and seasonings. Basically all healthy foods are allowed in normal not "America's average" portion size, which is typically two- three times the normal serving size. Weekly menus will guide in preparing your meals.


What you can't eat on Bob Greene's diet?

Unhealthy foods are all but eliminated (gradually), including:
    * Foods containing trans fats
    * Fried foods
    * High-fat dairy
    * Regular pasta
    * Soft drinks
    * White bread.

In the initial phase, alcohol is eliminated, but it can be added back later. Additionally, individuals are required to stop eating at least two hours before bed.
Eating options on The Best Life Diet

Best Life dieters are encouraged to eat plenty of fruits and vegetables, whole grains and cereals, lean meats, fiber-rich foods, and low-fat to nonfat dairy foods. All foods, with the exception of fruits and vegetables, should be eaten in moderation. Weekly menus are provided to help guide your daily meal plans.

The Best Life Diet - any exercise recommendations?
Depending on your current exercise routine or lack of, you may remain at the same level or add exercise if you are sedentary. Keep in mind that the Surgeon General recommends that Americans accumulate at least 30-60 minutes of moderate physical activity most days of the week. Greater amounts of physical activity may be necessary for the prevention of weight gain, for weight loss, or for sustaining weight loss.


Bob Greene and Oprah Winfrey: creating a winning diet
Bob Greene helped Oprah Winfrey shed 90 pounds back in 1995, and since then he has published several books on the subject of weight-loss including the wildly popular The Best Life Diet. Oprah Winfrey wrote the foreword and to date, the book has sold more than 1.6 million copies. Potential followers can purchase the book or follow the diet online for a fee. Millions worldwide have followed (or are currently following) The Best Life Diet.
Post Weight Maintenance Plans

The three phases of The Best Life Diet are as follows:

    * Phase One focuses on changing old eating habits and increasing activity levels.
    * Phase Two increases physical activity and promotes healthier eating.
    * Phase Three is maintenance.

Phase Three basically covers the guidelines you should follow for the rest of your life--so it's not really a diet. Even more unhealthy foods are eliminated in Phase Three and it introduces Bob Greene's "anything goes" calories which are similar to the "discretionary calories" found in the U.S. government's 2005 Dietary Guidelines.

The "anything goes" calories will allow you to enjoy your favorite foods in small portions, but this can only be done in this final lifetime phase of the diet--when you are at your peak level of activity and your diet is at its healthiest ever.

Here is a Google Chrome Theme for Indian And Pakistan Cricket Fans. India and Pakisan Theme for ICC World Cup 2011. Compatible with all resolutions. The theme also comes with India and Pakistan written on the top bar.

Download India Cricket World Cup 2011 Theme

Download Pakistan Cricket World Cup 2011 Theme

Spanish researchers have implemented new software in to regular SIM cards making them secure enough to be used as personal identification

Researchers at Universidad Carlos III de Madrid (UC3M) are developing application to integrate electronic identification data into an mobile phone SIM card so as to use the phone as a means of personal identifications

The prototype was recently presented at the Mobile World Congress in Barcelona, allows secure identification of the user by his eID data stored in the SIM card.

“The SIMs are like small computers that we carry in our mobile devices allowing us to store information and execute applications, with the advantage of providing a high level security,” explained Celeste Campo, the researcher on the project.

How it works

The SIM functions in a relatively simple way: the system obtains the personal information and allows identification and authorisation of the eID stored in the SIM card inserted in the terminal.

Researchers display a regular SIM card with the software implemented and a compatible phone showing a secure personal identification

“These data interact with services offered by the company Secuware and allow us to access the Web services through authentication with the eID,” explained Campo.

The necessary requisites for use of this system are to have an Electronic ID, a PC with a reader for the same purpose, and an Internet connection.

To be installed, the user merely has to indicate his/her telephone number and extract the eID data through a Web site which verifies its validity with the Internet provider.

Following that, a confirmation SMS is sent to the terminal and the information is saved on an SIM card in secure files.

In addition, this information is only accessible for applications with a certificate, which will prevent access by non-authorised third parties.

Future implementation

This system will serve to authenticate in a secure way access to any Web page, especially those of bank services,  and public administrations.

At the moment, the majority of applications which interact with the SIM card are developed in Java ME, code that is not supported by Android and iPhone OS.

For the general utilisation of this system the researchers have to developed an application that can be ported to different mobile devices.

The idea presented is that working in a SIM card would be more autonomous, and as a result, independent of the mobile phone.

1) Indentify the amount of sleep you need to be fully alert all day long and get that amount every night. For most adults, it is 8 hours. For teenagers, it is around 9 hours.

2) Go to bed in the same time every night, and wake up at the same time every morning- including weekends.

3) For sleep to be rejuvenating, you should get your required amount of sleep in one continuos block. Any nicotine or caffeine after 2 p.m or alcohol within 3 hours of bedtime will disrupt your sleep.

4) For every 2 hours awake, you have to  sleep 1 hour. That is, it takes 8 hours of sleep to restore 16 hours of walking activity. You cannot make up for large sleep losses during the week by sleeping in on weekends any more than you can make up for lack or regular exercise and overeating during the week by working out or and dieting only on the weekends.To make up for lost sleep, you might consider a power nap : Taken midday and limited to 20 minutes.

5) Sleep on mattress with individual pocketed coils that reduce motion transfer, or a foam mattress designed to support your back properly. Use a high - quality down pillow.

6) Even if you are sleep - deprived, anxiety can delay sleep onset. Try relax - action exercises. Have a " worry time" before going to sleep by writing down your concerns. Your worries then won't interfere with sleep onset or wake you up during the night. Don't watch TV or surf teh internet within 2 hours of bedtime. Take a warm bath before bed. Reading for pleasure before turning off the lights will also ease you into sleep.

7) Take some time for youself and relax. Good sleep means good day! Good night!

Facebook has made yet another plunge in mobile platform to spread its wings. One of the popular social network has finally confirmed the acquisition of mobile platform app developer - Snaptu. Israel based Snaptu which develops apps for feature phones as well as smartphones disclosed the deal on its official blog. As part of the deal, Facebook will pay Snaptu about $60-$70 million and Snaptu would be working as part of Facebook team.

Snaptu develops applications for the feature phones - the phones which aren't smart but possess mobile Internet connectivity and allow installation of Java ME or BREW based apps. Facebook, along with Snaptu, had launched the new Facebook App for popular features phones that consisted of about 2,500 different models. 

Facebook service already has been visible with tighter integration inside the Android OS for INQ handsets and also HTC ChaCha as well as Salsa handsets. That's evidence enough to see how series Facebook is about intoxicating every user with the service. 

With acquisition of Snaptu, we'll get to see the social network's deeper integration in feature phones as well. It won't be surprising to see Facebook centric features phones being launched by year end. In fact, the feature phones segment has large volume of users who don't wish to or can't spend a lot on a smartphone. It's not the first time Facebook has addressed the feature phone segment as earlier the company introduce the 0.facebook.com which was basically image-less version of the service. Let's hope this deal brings us better mobile web experience of the service. 

Shair arz hai...

Upar Chatri Neche sayaa Bhag Dhoni Afridi Aya :)))


Ab kiya hoga indan team ka ???????




Sehwag ki maa ko bulao

Sehwag ki maa ko bulao,

Sachin ko Pepsi pilao,

Ganguly ko Chawanprash khilao,

Dhoni ke baalo mein Gel lagao,

Dravid ko castorl pilao

PAR IN KO WORLD CUP MAT KHILO



2 PaGal Crickt Match daikh rahey they

2 PaGal Crickt Match daikh rahey they
Afridi Ne six maara.
Pehla Pagal!!
Wah kiya Goal kiya hai!
Dusra: Bewaquf Goal Is mai nahi, Crickt mai hota hai…..



Jeet Ki Umeed Laga Rakhi Thi

Jeet Ki Umeed Laga Rakhi Thi
Nazar Tv Pe Tika Rakhi Thi
Duaon Ki Bhi Full Chain Bana Rakhi Thi
Par Jeet Hoti Kese!
India Ne Hijron Ki Team Bna Rakhi Thi



Cricket Mei Kisi Player Ki Nazar Kamzor Ho Jaye

Beta Baap Se: Agar Cricket Mei Kisi Player Ki Nazar Kamzor Ho Jaye To Uske Saath Kia Krty Hain?
Baap: Beta, Usay Umpire Bana Diya Jata Hai,
Jese “SIMON TAUFFEL”



Girl painted Indian flag

In a cricket match..
There was a girl.. She painted Indian flag on her face..
A boy kissed on her face and said…
Mera mithaaa Bharat.

Pakistan Won 2011 Cricket World Cup

1947 : 4+7=11 azadi
1965 : 6+5=11 pakistan won 1st war against india
1992 : 9+2=11 pakistan won cricket world cup
2009 : 2+9=11 pakistan won T20 world cup
.
2011…..
INSHALLAH this 11 will also become lucky 4 pakistan and we will win cricket world cup 2011
INSHA ALLAH..




Agar Cricket Match Me 10 Balls Par

Agar Cricket Match Me 10 Balls Par
Puri Team 0ut Ho Jaye,
To Konsa Number Khilarri N0t 0ut Rahega..?
Ìf All Other Things
Remaining The Same,
Only For Genious One..




Dhoni ka Password

Mehsoos Ho Rahi Hai Fiza Mein Tamatar Aur Andon Ki Khushboo
Lagta Hai Meray Wattan Ki Cricket Team Wapis Anny Wali Hai.

Hamesha woh Rakhtey Password Log Hain
Jo Kabhi Na Bhooley,
16646
Kis Ka Hai Yeh Password?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Dhoni … =)

PCB Has Anounced New Pakistani Team

PCB Has Anounced
New Pakistani Team
For
World Cup 2011

Coach:
Khuwab Aalam

Team:
1: Imran Faqeer
2: Salman Nutt
3: Bonus Khan
4: Shoaib Jhalak
5: Misbah-Ul-Duck
6: Shoda Afridi
7: Kamran Khatmal
8: Abdul Mazzaq
9: Umer Bull
10: Shoaib Kambakht
11: Rao Jamadar

Extras:
1: Danish Maleria
2: Ajmal Qassab
3: Javaid Dengi




Pakistani Team Ko Milne Dhamkiyan

Pakistani Team Ko Milne
Wali Dhamkiyon Ki
Waja Se ICC Ne
Pakistan K
Saray Worldcup K Matches
.
“KARACHI”
Shift Krne Ka Faisla Kia Hy’




pakistan Cricket Schedule World Cup 2011

*Pak vs Kenya
23 feb
(LIYARI)
.
*Pak vs SL
26 feb
(NAYA’ABAD)
.
*Pak vs Canada
3 March
(SHAH FAISAL)
.
*PAK vs NZ
8 March
(SOHRAB GOTH)
.
*PAK vs Zim
14 March
(SAFORA GOTH)
.
*Pak vs Aus
19 March
(DAWOOD CHORANGI LANDHI)
.
Qtr Final
(BALDIA TOWN)
.
Semi Final
(NEW KARACHI)
.
Final Mai Pohnch
Gaye To Final
.
KATI PAHAARI ORANGI
Mai HoGa

Roses r red .. violts r blue

Roses r red,
violets r blue,
monkeys like you should be kept in the zoo.
Dont get angry,
you will find me there too,
not in the cage but laughing at you.
:D



Could u fax me ur photo

Could u fax me ur photo very very urgently ?
Mind u – it’s really very very urgent,
damn serious and very imp ….
I’m playing cards and
we’ve misplaced the JOKER.



Santa was drawing money from ATM.

Santa was drawing money from ATM.
Banta, who was just behind him in
the line said: I’ve seen ur password. It’s ****.
Sant: U r wrong. It’s 1394.



Kissing ur wife in ur home….

A man to Santa:
Your friend is kissing your wife in your home.
Santa rushes home and came back within
half an hour and slapped the man
and said:
“He’s not my friend.”



1 boy went 2 meet his girlfriend

One boy went to meet his girlfriend
when he came back at home
mom asked
kahaan gaey they ?
boy:us se milney
mom: kis liye?
boy: haan bohat kiss liye:D

A Memon on his death time

A Memon on his death time.

My wife, where r u ?
Wife:Yes, I’m here

My sons & daughters ru all here?
Yes, Papa

Memon:To phir brabar wale kamre
ka pankha Q khula hay ??? :D:D:D



New style of proposing a girl

New style of proposing a girl:
I have spent many sleepless nights in ur love,
&
I don’t want my son to do the same 4 your daughter,
So lets make them brother & sister.



Better think before you smile

1 smile = 1 friendship
1 friendship = 1 love
1 love = 1 proposal
1 proposal = 1 marriage
And 1 marriage = THOUSANDS of problem.
so better think before you smile.



Roses r red .. violts r blue

Roses r red,
violets r blue,
monkeys like you should be kept in the zoo.
Dont get angry,
you will find me there too,
not in the cage but laughing at you.
:D



Could u fax me ur photo

Could u fax me ur photo very very urgently ?
Mind u – it’s really very very urgent,
damn serious and very imp ….
I’m playing cards and
we’ve misplaced the JOKER.

In pakistan survey was done

In pakistan survey was done:
How many girls want to meet with Saquib
Survey repot
5% says yes
0% says no
95% says kuhawab maat dikhao
Humari aise kismat kaha



1 Pathan Bap Ki Death Par Bohat Roya

1 Pathan Bap Ki Death Par Bohat Roya
Phir Uski Behan Ka phone Aya,
Pathan Or B ziada Rone Laga.
Logon Ne Pucha,kya hua?
Pathan: Meri Bahan K Abu Ka B Intiqal Ho Gya



Karti hain itna makeup k weight barh jata hay

Bachiyon k chakker me larke jate lutt,
Or khatey hain un k bhaiyon se wo kutt…
iss waja se larke larkiyon ko chor detay hain,
Moqa mil tey hi un k bhaiyon ko phor dete hain..
Na kare makeup to un se banda dar jata hay,
Karti hain itna makeup k weight barh jata hay.



Hahaha, I am joking

A
B
C
D

A-AATRACTIVE
B-BEST
C-CUTE
D-DEAR 2 ME

E
F
G

E-EXCELENT
F-funny
G-GOOD LOOKING

H
I
J

H- HA HA HA
I- I M
J- JOKING



Phulo ki mahak ko churaya nahi jata

Rule of boys:
“Phulo ki mahak ko churaya nahi jata,
suraj ki kirno ko chupaya nahi jata,
kitni bhi soni ho girlfrnd apni,
dusro ki girlfrnd ko bhulaya nahi jata..

A pakistani man goes for fishing

A pakistani man goes for fishing, catches a big fish.
Comes home and askks his wife to cookthe fish.
Wife says she can’t as there is no gas, no electricity,
no atta(floor) and no cooking oil to fry it in.
Man goes and puts the fish back in the river.
Fish comes up to the surface and shouts
“Pakistan Zindabad”



Don’t kill the students

A student was asked 2 write
a signboard 4 the traffic rules
near da college campus

He wrote:-

“Drive Carefully!
Don’t kill the students,
wait for the Teachers”



In pakistan survey was done

In pakistan survey was done:
How many girls want to meet with Saquib
Survey repot
5% says yes
0% says no
95% says kuhawab maat dikhao
Humari aise kismat kaha


1 Pathan Bap Ki Death Par Bohat Roya

1 Pathan Bap Ki Death Par Bohat Roya
Phir Uski Behan Ka phone Aya,
Pathan Or B ziada Rone Laga.
Logon Ne Pucha,kya hua?
Pathan: Meri Bahan K Abu Ka B Intiqal Ho Gya



Karti hain itna makeup k weight barh jata hay

Bachiyon k chakker me larke jate lutt,
Or khatey hain un k bhaiyon se wo kutt…
iss waja se larke larkiyon ko chor detay hain,
Moqa mil tey hi un k bhaiyon ko phor dete hain..
Na kare makeup to un se banda dar jata hay,
Karti hain itna makeup k weight barh jata hay.

The brain is a wonderful organ

The brain is a wonderful organ.
It starts working the moment you get
up and does not stop until u get into the office…



I Can SEE ‘TEA’ in A TEA-CUP

I Can SEE ‘TEA’ in A TEA-CUP
Can you SEE the WORLD in WORLD-CUP?

I can SING on Any STAGE
Can you SING in COMA-STAGE?

I can FIX my PASSPORT Size PHOTO in My PASSPORT
Can you FIX Your STAMP Size PHOTO in a STAMP?

I Can SEND My ADDRESS to Your MOBILE
Can You SEND Your MOBILE to my ADDRESS?

TRY ALL THIS…….. ….
Atleast DO the LAST ONE.



Never kiss a police woman

Never kiss a police woman.
she ‘ll say stop and handsup.
Never kiss a nurse she
will say next plz. Always kiss a teacher.
She ‘ll repeat it 10 times.



1 bhoot dosray ko samjha raha tha

Khofnaak andheri raat k sannatay main
ek bhoot dosray bhoot ko samjhra raha tha:
bhai ghabra mat, ye sub tere dimagh ka waham hai,
pathan wathan kuch nahin hote.



Jayengay car main, aayengay akhbar main

Once a husband and wife
were preparing to go office
and the wife thought
she would drive today for the office.

Wife : Chalo na car me kahin ghumne
chalte hai, aur car me drive karungi!

Huband : “Agar tum car drive karogi to
jayenge car mein, aayenge akhbaar mein”!!

A boy came running in the kitchen

A boy came running in the kitchen,
Boy:Dad, There is an ugly monster at the door
Dad(Looking at his wife):
Tell him we have already got one!



Khoon-e-jiger B na chora zalim ne

Dil diya tha MOHABBT ki nishani samajh kar,
Wo kha gaya use BIRYANI samajh kar.
Khoon-e-jiger B na chora zalim ne,
Wo B pi gaya LIMON PANI samajh kar.



No 1 will touch ur mom

A man was dying of cancer.
His son asked him:
dad why do you keep on telling
everyone that your dying of AIDS.

He replied:
“So that when i die no 1 will touch ur mom”



Be a millionare within few months

Repeat these lines at least 2 hours
everyday after Namaz outside the mosque
& u will b a millionare within few Months.
“Allah k naam par dey de baba”



In heaven together we were in a big hall

In heaven together we were in a big hall.
An Angel told us to write our sins before going in,
but before l could start writing any thing
l heard you caling for ”EXTRA SHEET”.

Dil karta he band krwa doon sim tere

Lab pe ati hai Dua ban k tamanna meri,
Dil karta he band krwa doon sim tere,

Dor duniya ka tere DAM se ujala hojaye,
Jo mjhe sms na kare Uska range kala HOjaye….



Qualities a friend must have

Qualities a friend must have:
Cute as crocodile.
Smart as donkey.
Active as turtle.
Fit as hippo.
Matured as monkey.
Sincerity like dog.
No doubt you are my good friend




my policy is one day one fool…..!

2day i have not sent Sms 2 anybody Except U.
2day i have not thought about anybody Except U.
Because my policy is?
one day one fool…..!



I will buy banana, u keep the peel

Customer : How much is that banana for?

Salesperson : Rs.10

Customer : Can you sell it to me for Rs.6?

Salesperson : At that rate, you will only get the banana peel!

Customer : Okay I will buy the banana for Rs.4 , but you can keep the peel!



A Ghazal by Husband

Jab se begum ne mujhe murgha bana rakha hai,
Main ne nazron ki tarhan sir bhi jhuka rakha hai,

Bartano aaj mere sir pe baraste kion ho ?
Mein ne dho dha k tumhain kitna saja rakha hai,

Roz leti he talashi wo police ki manind,
Pochti he kahan paison ko chupa rakha hai,

Wahi duniya main muqaddar ka sikandar tehra,
Jis ne khud ko yahan shadi se bacha rakha hai,

Pi ja is maar ki talkhi ko bhi has k shohar,
Mar khane mein bhi qudrat ne maza rakha hai..

if your father earned $100,000

Teacher: Johny,
if your father earned $100,000
and gave half of it to your mother,
what would she have?

Little johny: A heart a attack!



If dentists make films, the names will be

If dentists make films,?the names will be -
*Daant ho na ho
*Jaanam brush karo
*Aa ab clean karen
*Kabhi teeth kabhi gum
*Humara daant aapke paas hai!:-)




Check returned back

Doc 2 Patient :
The check which u gave me has returned back.

Patient 2 Doc:The head-ache for which
you gave me medicine has also returned back.



Prove that u’re the Best TubeLight !!

A Smile costs less than Electricity.
But…..
Gives more light !!
So Always Keep Smiling….. &
Prove that u’re the Best TubeLight !!



Dil karta he band krwa doon sim tere

Lab pe ati hai Dua ban k tamanna meri,
Dil karta he band krwa doon sim tere,

Dor duniya ka tere DAM se ujala hojaye,
Jo mjhe sms na kare Uska range kala HOjaye….

Give me a pocket full of money

Boy 2 God:
Give me a pocket full of money,
A job & a big vehicle full of girls.

God replied:your wish is fullfilled
&
He became a bus conductor of karachi university point.:p



That is not my dog

Man1 sitting with dog.
Man2:Your dog bits?
Man1:No
Man 2 sits and the dog bits!
Man2 angrily, you said he does not bit!
Man:That is not my dog.



Why were males created before females?

Why were males created before females?

Because you alwas need
a rough draft before the final copy.



I will take either side

A lawyer saw an auto accident on street.
He rushed over and started handing out
business cards saying:
I saw the whole thing..
I will take either side.



Devil challenged in a game of cricket

The devils challenged
the angels to a game of cricket.

We have got all the cricketers, said the Angels.
Devils:No problem,
we have got all the umpires.

Mirror who kill liars

Once there was a mirror which used to kill “LIERS”
FRENCH:I think I don’t smoke (killed)
AMERICAN:I think, I love Iraq(killed)
PATHAN:I think (killed)



Teacher & bachay

Teacher. Bachon wada kro cigrett shrab nahi pioge.
bachey:nahi pienge.
Teacher:larkio ka pecha nahi karoge
bachey:nahi karnge
Teacher:un pr awazen nahi kaso ge.
bachey: nahi kasenge.
Teacher: apni zindagi watan pr qurban karoge.
bachey: karenge,asi zindgi ka karna bhi kia he.



Give me a pocket full of money

Boy 2 God:
Give me a pocket full of money,
A job & a big vehicle full of girls.

God replied:your wish is fullfilled
&
He became a bus conductor of karachi university point.:p



What is BUSINESS ?

What is BUSINESS ?

Dad: I want u 2 marry a girl of my choice.
Son: No
Dad: The girl is Bill Gate’s daughter.
Son: then Ok.


Dad goes o Bill Gates.
Dad: I want your daughter to marry my son.
Bill Gates: No
Dad: My son is the CEO of the World Bank.
Bill Gates: Than ok

Dad goes 2 the President of the World Bank.
Dad:Appoint my son as the CEO of your bank.
President:No
Dad:He is the son-in-law of Bill Gates.
President: Then OK

That’s business…!!



Give me a pocket full of money

Boy 2 God:
Give me a pocket full of money,
A job & a big vehicle full of girls.

God replied:your wish is fullfilled
&
He became a bus conductor of karachi university point.:p

We can attack in any direction now!

Soldier:Sir, we are surrounded!
Major:Excellent!
We can attack in any direction now!



Fatman sitting in a train cabin

A man sees a fat man
sitting in a train cabin.

Taunting, he asks:
Is this cabin for elephants only!

Fat man humbly replies:
No!Even monkeys like you can sit!



Salty Eggs

Major Rohail:
Dude EGGS are extra salty today�
Tooo much Salt..why?
.
.
Waiter:
Sir hen is suffring from high blood
Pressure



A boy goes to see a dance

A boy goes to see a dance.

His mom angrily asks him:
Did u see anything there that
u were not supposed to see?

Boy: yes, I saw dad!



A girl & boy story

Boy:I love u
Girl:Me too
Boy:Tum mujhe kitna pyar karti ho?
Girl:Jitna tum mujhe karte ho
Boy: U cheater..
main samjha tum waqai mujh se pyar karti ho�

Agar tum ko hum pe gussa hai toh

Agar tum ko hum pe gussa hai toh
Ghantaghar tod do
Ring road mod do
Sahid gate fod do
Titanic ko fevicol se jod do
Magar mujhe aise sms karna mat chod do



I’m sorry i love you

I’m sorry to be smiling every time you’re near.
I’m sorry my eyes twinkle whenever you’re here.
I’m sorry that cupid has made his hit.
I’m sorry i love you,
I can’t help it.



I didn’t mean to upset u

How can I begin to say I`m sorry.
I didn’t mean to upset you.
I hope that you can forgive me.I’m sorry.


A good apology has 3 parts

A Good Apology Has 3 Parts!
1) I'm Sorry
2) It's My Fault
&
3) What Can I Do To Make It Right.

But,Most Of The People Misses The 3rd Part.



If you ask me how ma

If You Ask Me How Many Times

My Heart Has Been Broken,

Then I Ask You To Look Up

At The Sky One Night,

And Count The Stars.




There is a lo

There Is A

[L.O.V.E]

That Could Fall

D/O/W/N

Like

R*A*I*N.

Let Forgiveness Wash Away The

((Pain))

Dosti main dooriyan to aati rehti hain

Dosti main dooriyan to aati rehti hain.

Phir bhi dosti dilo ko mila deti hai.

Wo dosti hi kiya jo naraz na ho.

Per sachi dosti dosto ko mana leti hai



Kabhi Naraz Mat Hona

(“GUZARISH”)
“Kabhi Naraz Mat Hona”

Gilay Chahy Bohat Karna
Rulana or Boht Larrna
Suno Naraz Mat Hona

Kabi Aisa Jo ho Jaye
K teri Yad se Ghafil Kisi Lamhe jo ho Jaon
Bina Dekhe Teri Surat
Kisi Shab Main jo So Jaon
To Sapno Main Chale Aana
Mujy Ehsas Dila Jana
Suno Naraz Mat Hona.

Kabi Aisa jo ho Jaye
Jinhen kehna Zaruri ho
Wo Mujhse Lafz Kho Jayen
Anaa ko Beech Mat Lana
Meri Awaz Ban Jana!
KABHI NARAZ MAT HONA



Sorry May Have Become

Sorry May Have Become

“Just Another Word”,
But With TEARS

It Means The World.

I’m Sorry for What I have Done To You.



As I feel the tear go down my cheek

As I feel the tear go down my cheek,
I notice that my heart is weak,
For the love I have for you,
Will always be gold and true,
I have made some mistakes, they rest in the past



How can I begin 2 say I`m sorry

How can I begin 2 say I`m sorry.
I dint mean 2 upset u.
I hope tht u can 4gve me

Dont write your name

Dont write your name on sand, waves will wash it.
Dont write your name on sky, wind may blow it.
Write your name on hearts of your friends,
thats where it will stay.



When does a friend

When does a friend become a best friend?
When his dialouge, "I care for you" converts into
"I will kill you if you don"t care for me"




Sometimes in life

Sometimes in life we think we don"t need anyone.
But sometime we don"t have anyone when we need...
So don"t let your best buddies go ever...



In this cruel world

In this cruel world it is very difficult to find friend
with beautiful heart, pure feelings, attractive personality
& stylish looks. So learn to value me!



Being a friend

Being a friend is not just sharing a joke, a conversation,
a cup of coffee or a funny story.
It means sharing an honest and true part of yourself.

The mind 2 friends

The mind 2 friends are like the lines of railway track.
They never meet but has go together to save the derailment
of the Train called Friendship.



Few realation in Earth

Few realation in Earth Never Die.
Want to know What is it ? Read again..
(F) Few (R) Realation (I) In (E) Earth (N) Never (D) Die




Minutes r small

Minutes r small,Hrs are less,Days are short,
Months are few,Years r not enough to be with you,
i can take 10 more Briths if I get a cool friend like you




A lucky star dropped

A lucky star dropped on the Earth 1 night it asked me
what did i want a million dollars or a true friend
i choose a million dollars becoz i already have U




For me U r as

For me U r as... Chees 4 pizza.. passport 4 visa...
butter 4 bread.. ice 4 freezer.. cream 4 cake...
water 4 lake.. leaf 4 tree..
a FRIEND like u is 4 ever 4 me..!!

God picked up a flower

God picked up a flower and dipped it in a DEW,
lovingly touched it which turned in to u,
and the he gifted to me and said, THIS FRIEND IS 4U.



Age appears to be best

Age appears to be best in some things.
Old wood best to burn. Old books best to read.
Old rice best to eat and old friends best to keep



Moon said to me

Moon said to me, if ur friend is not messaging u why dont
you leave ur friend.I looked at moon and said does
ur sky ever leave u when u dont shine.



Friendship is not a game

Friendship is not a game to play, It is not a word to say,
It doesn"t start on March and ends on May, It is tomorrow,
yesterday, today and everyday.



Friendship is needless

Friendship is needless, like philosophy, like art....
It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things
that give value to survival.

In soft gleaming night of stars

In soft gleaming night of stars,
May all your dreams come true.
May every star of every night,
Bring love and joy to you.
Happy Birthday to you.



Dua hai Ki Kamyabi ke

Dua hai Ki Kamyabi ke har sikhar pe aap ka naam hoga,
aapke har kadam par duniya ka salam hoga,
Himat se mushkilon ka samana karna hamari dua hai ki waqt
bhi ek din aapka gulam hoga.
 Happy Birthday



Apun wishing you a wonderful
Apun wishing you a wonderful, super duper, zabardast, extra bariya, extra special ekdum mast n dhinchak bole to ekdum jhakaas, JANAM DIN mubarak ho..



SUN LIKES THE SUNDAY

SUN LIKES THE SUNDAY
MOON LIKES THE MONDAY
BUT I LIKES ONEDAY
THATS YOUR BIRTHDAY



Belated happy b’day

my plane was crashed but i m ok,
my car was stolen yesterday,
i missed the bus,&
my mobile’s battry was also verylow,
thats y i can’t get u yesterday,
plz 4giv me & HAPPY BLATED B’DAY 2 U


Today is your day

Cos today is your day,
its an opportunity for u to know that
u are special and special things are for u today,
i wish u all the best.
Happy birth day. Love u!

This msg has No Fat
This msg has No Fat
No cholesterol n No Addictive
this is all natural except
with a lot of sugar
But it can never be as sweet as the one reading it
Happy Birthday




Wishing u a day soft as silk

Wishing u a day soft as silk.....
white as milk.....
sweet as honey&full of money.
may all ur dreams come true....
HAPPY BIRTH DAY




Sending birthday blessings

Sending birthday blessings
Filled with love and peace and joy
Wishing sweetest things happen
Right before your eyes !



A prayer: 2 bless ur way

A prayer: 2 bless ur way
A wish : 2 lighten ur moments
A cheer: 2 perfect ur day
A text: 2 say HAPPY BIRTH DAY



Today is a day of celebration

Today is a day of celebration
Why?
Because, years ago on the same day,
GOD sent me my flesh and bone conscience.
Wishing my friendly inner voice a very happy birthday

What is “Nitrate” ?
Chemistry Ki class mein teacher ne aik larki se pocha:
What is “Nitrate” ?
Larki sharma k boli:
Sir,
Rs.1500/=



Sardar on phone:

Sardar on phone:

Doctor my wife is pergnant.She is having pain right now.

Doctor: Is this her first child?

Sardar: No this is her husband speaking…



A girl phoned me

A girl phoned me
the other day and said …
“Come on over, there’s nobody home.”
I went over. Nobody was home



There r 2 types of hooks
There are 2 types of hooks
1st is cricket hook
&
2nd is brazer hook
1st is used to send ball outside the boundry
&
2nd is to control balls inside the boun



A GIRL Puts Her Fingers Near…
A GIRL Puts Her Fingers Near HOTEL MANAGER’S Lips.
MANAGER Kisses n sucks Each Finger
,
,
GIRL: Tell Ur BOSS There Is No Tissue Paper In ur TOILET…

I want to suck you … lick you

I want to suck you
lick you
wanna move my tongue all over you
wanna feel you in my mouth
yep, that’s how you
eat an ice cream!



In a bothroom, boy touches a girl everywhere

In a bath room,
a boy touches a girl everywhere!
You Know whose that boy?
Stupid It’s Lifeboy Soap!
Dirty people always think dirty.



Always start your day with a lot of S E X …

Always start your day with a lot of… S E X
S – SMILE
E – ENERGY
X – XCITEMENT
so make S E X a daily habit, and youll always B SUCC SEX FUL! in LIFE.



Come here, take off your pents and knickers

Come here,
take off your pents and knickers,
get on top of me,
enjoy until u get satisfied,
loving yours…..
toilet!



Last nite i went 2 bed without u…cold,naked…

Lastnite i went 2 bed without u..
cold,naked,thinking of u,
missing ur warmth,
ur soft touch against my skin.
Where were u “lastnite”

Short thing gets longer

A short thing
its get longer as u hold it
& pass between woman’s breast
& enters into a small hole
What is it?

Answer below!

Ans. cars seat belt…u dirty mind



What is 6″ inch long

Boy:what is that u keep in ur mouth
which is 6″ long
and move it in and out
and wait for a white substance to come out?

Girl: y do u ask such question to me.
i cant tell such words

Boy:dont worry its tooth brush




Even the driver say’s so …

A man while making love to his maid,
exclaimed ‘Martha ur are sweeter than my wife’

The maid smiled and said
‘i know ‘cos the driver always tells me so’



Girl fully exhausted

A young girl after her honeymoon
came fully exhausted and tired,

When her friends asked her what happened?

She replied :
When this 70 year old bastard told me
he has saved a lot from last 50 years,

“I thought It was MONEY”



Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS

Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS:
“Me sick, no work”
Boss SMS back:
“When I am sick I kiss my wife try it”
2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss:
“Me ok, ur wife very sweet”

A junior needs a name

Love is a gamble,
Sex is a game,
Boyz do the thing
Girls get the blame,
1 night in pleasure
9 months of pain
1 day in hospital and
a junior needs a name



It’s too tight

Girl:It’s 2 tight
Boy:Don’t worry,I’ll do it slowly,
Gal:Push it in,
Boy:Ah..I can’t,
Gal:It’s painful,
Boy:Forget it.
.
.
.
.
We’ll buy new WEDDING RING!




Let me kiss your lips

Let me kiss ur lips,
let me feel ur teeth,
let me feel ur tongue.
SMILE!
This is ur friend
“PEPSODENT”
reminding you to brush ur teeth,
Twice a day Everyday :)



Can kids of our age have kids?

Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher:
“can kids of our age have kids?”

Teacher replied ” NO Never!!”

Boy said to girl :
“see i told you not to worry!!!!”.



It’s the things that satisfies your mind

It’s the thing that satisfies
ur mind, body & soul!
Do it on bed, on a sofa,
in the car or anywhere!
It’s called Prayer!
God bless ur naughty mind.

I really deeply wish … on my bed

I really deeply wish dat
u r here with me in my room.
on my bed & lights is off &
we get under the cover together..
2 show u my glow in the dark watch.



He came at night, explored my body ….

He came at night,
explored my body,
got on top of me,
touched me, he bit,
sucked, swalowd,
when he was satisfyed,
he left, i was hurt,
.
.
.
BLOODY… MOSQUITO !!!!



Nurse, Sardar and blood test

NURSE kept SARDAR’S FINGER in HER MOUTH
after BLOOD TEST.
THEN SARDAR STARTED DANCING .
NURSE:y r u DANCING.
SARDAR:next is URINE TEST



A beautiful girl goes to Professor

A beautiful girl goes to Professor cabin
and
say
that i will do anything to pass in the exams
and professor says
NOW OPEN YOUR
.
.
.
.
.
.
Books And Study



What’s an average 6 inch long

What’s an average 6 inch long
Inside a guy’s pants and girls love to blow it up?
?
?
?
?
A:1000- rupee currency note.!
Always think positive

Lady wanted 2 go 2 toilet

In a party a lady wanted
to go to toilet so
she inquired with a sardar
papaji susu karne ki jagah dikhao,

sardarji replied u naughty
pehle tum dikhao.



Cheating kion ?

Fair & lovely ke ad ma face dikhaya
Ponds ke ad ma hath dikhaya
Pentene ke ad ma baal dikhaye
Phir always ke ad ma cheating kyun?




Difference between stress, tension & panic

3 FEELINGS
what is the diference b/w stress,tension & panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,
tension is when girlfriend is pregnant &
panic is when both r pregnant




Catch her by her waist…
Bring her home..
Keep ur hand on her neck
Put ur lips on her lips
& have a …
…nice drink…PEPSI



2 men went 2 a callgirl

2 men went 2 a callgirl.
1st went in and came out n said
“Na my wife is better.”
2nd went in and came out n said
“U R right ur wife is much better.”

The Full Form Of Chocolate Brand

The Full Form of Chocolate Brand:

KITKAT: Kiss in Time, Kiss at Time.

PERK: Perfect Emotional Romantic Kiss.

MUNCH: Meet Urgently Now for a Charming Hug!

So Think before giving chocolate to any one.




A Simple ?SALAM? Can Be So Sweet

A simple ?SALAM? Can Be So Sweet:

S: Sada Khush Raho

A: Abaad Raho

L: La-Zawal Urooj Dekho

A: Arzuain Puri Hon

M: Mujhe Dua Main Yaad Rakhna

So SALAM 2 ALL.



F-u-c-k OFF

F-u-c-k OFF

Yes fuck off
ooh! Don?t get the wrong meaning.

Fuck OFF means:
F-friend like
U- u
C-can
K-keep
O-our
F-friendship
F-forever..



Meaning of pakistan

Meaning of pakistan:

P:payar

A:aman

K:khushaali

I:insaf

S:security

T:traqqi

A:azaadi

Beautiful But Stupid

Beautiful But Stupid

B.COM
Basically Confidence of Mohabat

B.B.A
Beauty Broad & Active

L.L.B
Love 4 Leagal Boy

P.H.D
Perfect Healthy Dream girl..(!!<



Don?T Get Confused, Aray Baba SORRY

SORRY.

Don?t get confused, Aray Baba SORRY Means:

S-> Some,
O-> One Is,
R-> Really,
R-> Remembering
Y-> You.

Have A wonderful day.



BLESSING Means

BLESSING Means:

B- Begin you day with.
L- Love in your heart.
E- Expect blessings.
S- Share goodness.
S- Shine like the sun.
I- Inspire some one.
N- Never forgot that.
G- God is with you all time.



STUPID

STUPID
STUPID

Do You Know What is the Meaning of STUPID?

S = Sari Zindagi
T = Tumse
U = Umar Bhar ki Dosti
P = Pana Chahta Hon
I = Is Liye
D = Duaon Main Yaad Rakhna.



Happy Happy Happy Happy


Happy
Happy
Happy
Happy

Do u know What is the Meaning of HAPPY.

H- Hum
A- Aapko
P- Pal
P- Pal
Y- Yaad Karty Hain.

F R I D A Y

F R I D A Y

F= Farz allah ka ada karo

R= Rab ko razi karo

I= Ibadat dil se karo

D= Darud kasrat se parho

A= Allah se mango

Y= Yaad rakho mujhe DUAON ME



True Meanings Of ?GIRL?

True meanings of ?GIRL?

?G?= GOSSIP may sab se aagey..

?I?= INNOCENT sirf shakal se..

?R?= RONE ki automatic machine..

?L?= LARAI may sab ki maa?



FuLL FoRm OF BOyS

FuLL FoRm oF bOyS?
B ? bAdMaShIyOn Me sAb sE aAgE.
O ? oLLo0 kI tArAh rAAt mE jAaGe.
Y ? yAaRiAn NiBhAtE jAaN lAgA k.
S ? ShArEeF SiRf MaA BaAp k AaGe?



MEANING OF M O T H E R

MEANING OF M O T H E R:
M:?M Y M O M?
O:?O B L I G E?
T:?T E R R I F I C?
H:?H O N E S T?
E:?E X C E L L E N T?
R:?R E S P O N S I B L E?




Do U Know What Pakistan Means?

Do u know what Pakistan means?
No??? ok let me tell u
.
P-> Perfect
A->Aimitious
K->Kool
I->Islamic
S->Super
T->Talented
A->Able
N->Nation

SHUT UP

SHUT UP
-
-
-
-
-
S = Surprises 4 U
H = Happiness 4 U
U = Unlimited Love 4 U
T = True Passion 4 U

U = U r Always In My Mind
P = Praying 4 U

So Again? SHUT UP





Bipasha bharat ke har nagrik ka adikar he,
Bipasa har kisiki jaruriyat he,
Bipasha har kisiko milni chahiye,
Bi-bijli
Pa-pani
Sha-shadak




D-Dear
A-Always
R-Remember
L-Love
I-Is
N-Not
G-Game



SMS Doesn?T Only Mean

SMS Doesn?t Only Mean:

Short Messaging Service.

But It Also Means:

Some Moments Shared

With Loved Ones Like You.




Aapko Mobile Use Karty Huye Kafi Arsa Hogaya Hoga

Aapko Mobile Use Karty Huye Kafi Arsa Hogaya Hoga.

Aur Ye Bhi Pata Hoga K Mobile Main SIM Lagti Hai.

To Kya Aap Ye Bata Sakty Hain K SIM Ki Abbreviation Kya Hai?

S = Subscriber
I = Identity
M = Module

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